Fascinat…ing

November 8, 2013

For the last 30 minutes I’ve been Googling How to wear a fascinator. Right. From America and don’t know what a fascinator is?

Oh, you do. You just didn’t know those silly royal hats had a name.

Fascinator.
Fascinator.
Fascinator (his and hers?)
Images Via

So why is this Yank trying to figure out how to pin a bizarre little hat on to her very non-royal hair? Well! Next week is Cup Week. And for those of you who are still totally confused (me)…

New Zealand Cup Week is an annual event held in Christchurch, a spring festival involving horse races, (NZ) fashion, agriculture and entertainment. And hopefully food. And apparently, lots of booze.

This year one of my co-workers organized for about 30 of us girls (and one token bloke) to go out for champagne brunch and then get a lift to the horse races. The most common comment I’ve heard from past attendees is “I know we went to the races, but I don’t remember seeing a horse.” It’s not that they didn’t see a horse… it’s that they don’t remember it. If you get my drift.

There is a fashion show/competition at the races. The 3rd photo above (of him and her) is of last year’s fashion winners. She kind of reminds me of the mad hatter, but I clearly don’t appreciate Kiwi fashion. So part of the mandatory rules of Cup Day (besides getting drunk) is dressing the part. Most girls drop a few hundred dollars, at least, on a new dress and shoes and head adornments. This is just not an option for me. But I was informed today (4 days prior, mind you) that a fascinator is compulsory… Right.

So I bought the smallest one I could find. Its black, with a few little feathers sticking out of it. I have no idea how I’m going to attach it to my head. Hence the Googling. And the other thing I’ve now learned (damn Google) is that fascinators are generally huge, and it’s possible I bought one meant for a child. Fantastic.

The mall is 40 minutes away on a traffic-free day, and I work every day until Cup Day anyways. Looks like my wee little fascinator and boring old dress out of the closet won’t be winning any high fashion awards this year.

Stay tuned for photos. Mocking encouraged.

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